


Hershel Does Dale's Ass

by Unicornsfartglitter



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, And I worked too hard on it, Because I can, Crack, Excessive use of adverbs, Funny, In control Hershel, M/M, Pickle jar reference, Stupid descriptions, This Is STUPID, This fic sucks, This is too long for crack, Two old guys banging, Why?, don't take this seriously, first fanfic, i can't write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 04:50:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10506627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unicornsfartglitter/pseuds/Unicornsfartglitter
Summary: Pretty much a crack fic about how the common factor of missing your wives, being sweaty, and being old can lead to banging.**This fic sucks and is my first, it's supposed to be crazy ass crack. I'm not a great writer but my descriptions and crazy writing style on this was intended as this is supposed to be humorous, please comment but be nice. Sorry for any brain bleach that is needed afterwards.





	

It was a hot and sweaty day and Dale just wished for some AC to cool his sweaty skin. He took his handkerchief and wiped his brow starring in envy at Hershel's hot but comfy house.

Hershel walked out "Care for some lemonade? Maggie used her mother's secret recipe." Dale's mouth watered at the invitation. "Sure" he replied. He couldn't help but gulp down the saccharine treat.

Hershel started slowly drinking his own. As Dale saw his Adams apple bob he couldn't help but be mesmerized. As if on que Hershel rose his eyebrow as some of the liquid goodness slowly trickled from his mouth. Dale had to look away or he would question his sexuality. He had only been with his wife and he loved her with all his heart.

Hershel was never one to judge, he loved his Bible and knew only God could judge. He hated that a gay couple was once condemned in his town. He couldn't say he understood that attraction though. When the world ended he was content with his small family group but Rick Grimes changed that. Seeing Dale's kind eyes had reminded him of his own wife's sensitive soul. He always believed eyes were the gateway to ones soul. Never mind the fact Dale still had goodness in his heart and was appreciative unlike the rest of that group.

Seeing that look in Dale's eyes he had to quickly look away. Surely Dale didn't feel anything remotely close to his own affections. "Well, I best get going, Shane helped with that fence so y'all are invited to supper. Little Beth makes some mean fried chicken" Dale could only reply with a "sure."

Hershel didn't lie, that chicken was sin and he knew to savor every bite. Tomorrow isn't promised. This thought made him sad. He was puzzled by how much this made him worry about never seeing Hershel again one day. After dinner and a quick clean up everyone went to bed. Hershel and Dale didn't do much of that though. As Dale quickly came to the realization that Hershel meant something to him Hershel was frustrated that Dale wouldn't leave his mind.

The next day it was discovered that with the recent rain the horse feed was ruined. Between chores and lost Sophia hands were short. Rick wanted to help Hershel but everyone agreed that he needed to stay watch. More walkers had been discovered close by. Shane quickly volunteered to accompany Hershel to town. "Like hell after that Otis fiasco!" Dale thought. As if reading his mind Rick quickly chose Dale to go with Hershel. They both locked eyes and instantly said "no!" At the same time. Rick just cocked his head and rambled why it needed to go down this way.

Of course the truck was hot! Dale couldn't enjoy some AC for even a minute. Finding the feed store and loading it up was easy enough for two old guys with bad backs. Hershel was speeding, he had to get out of this car. That soft voice, easy eyes, and sweaty shirt was going to kill him! As the heat rose so did the amount of sweat on those necklines and armpits. 

He quickly learned Dale's eurotic scent only intensified with 100 degree heat. That man musk could only be described as delightful. Hershel really wanted to taste it and thought Dale would appreciate the cooling factor of his tongue. His wife always told him that tongue was wicked. He laughed as he remembered how those girls swooned back in the day with his cherry stem tying trick. He sometimes missed out on the action with his wife making her orgasm as he went down on her. "What's so funny?" Dale inquired. Clearing his throat he replied "nothing, just thinking of my wife." If only Dale knew.

Halfway home it was evident to mechanic Dale that the radiator was getting hot. "We are going to have to stop." As he explained Hershel got frustrated. On the way to the feed store he noticed there were less cars on the road. Apparently there were some more survivors or maybe he had just been cooped up too much. 

Getting out Dale knew some coolant was needed. Dale also noticed how Hershel's arthritis had effected his knees.It was decided that safe shelter for the night was the best decision. 

Hershel cut his foot on a splintered tree root covered by leaves. He was hesitant to lean on Dale and smell his heady scent. There was no choice in the end though. Astonishingly a wooden cabin was quickly found. Dale quickly got to work finding some cloth to make bandages for the nasty looking foot. Luckily a t shirt was found in a bedroom. Dale hastily made bandages from cloth strips. Hershel was in more pain than he wanted to admit. 

As Dale came over his scent calmed him down, he looked into his eyes knowing Dale would be gentle. As soon as Dale touched his ankle with his soft, warm hands it felt as if electric currents were shooting up his leg. He hissed in surprise. "Did that hurt?" Dale asked. "Just a little" was Hershel's reply. Dale gingerly bandaged his foot and fished through his bag. He produced a granola bar for each of them.

"I miss my wife" Dale unexpectedly said into the silent air. "I can relate" Hershel said. They both fell into silence as night approached. Hershel awoke to a shiver. He knew a fever was upon him. Georgia was hell all hours of summer. He knew it was bad when he looked down and saw a thick blanket tucked snug against him. Dale awoke to the creaky springs of the old couch. He lit the candle and looked into Hershel's pain ridden face. He quickly retrieved some Tylenol.

As Hershel quickly swallowed it down Dale could only think how the candle illuminated the true beauty of Hershel's face. His white hair seemed to glisten contrasting with the embers of the flame. Before he could think he brushed his wrinkly fingers through the growing hair. Hershel gave over to temptation and sighed.

"I can't resist you anymore" Dale said. "Maybe I can't either" said Hershel. Slowly Dale leaned over and kissed Hershel chastely on the lips. Hershel grabbed his shirt and smashed their lips together boldly. Soon Hershel was taking the lead and stroking his tongue harshly against his. Dale gave over lying his hand on the other's chest. Dale had never been kissed so passionately in his life. 

Hershel quickly tugged on the buttons of Dale's shirt pulling them loose. He then did what he had been fantasizing of. He smashed his nose into Dale's neck and inhaled deeply. Euphoria took over along with his lust. Dale moaned as Hershel nipped at his neck. Then he squeaked as Hershel tweeked his nipple. He could only laugh at how fast Hershel was.

Hershel wanted everything now. Dale was an all you can eat buffet just waiting for a bite. He ripped Dale's shirt off and pulled him down to straddle his hips. The little bump was intoxicating. Dale grinded down hoping for the faintest of relief. Hershal grabbed Dale's cock and tugged aggressively. Dale moaned surprising himself as his lips passed the loudest of moans. Hershel stopped to lean down picking up Dale's sweaty shirt he took his handkerchief from the pocket and smirked.

Dale looked questionably as Hershel gagged him. This was a first for Dale but he was turned on. Hershel continued his assault on his neck biting and tugging on his neck. "You're mine now" Hershel said. Soon Dale felt his probing fingers near his ass. He was hesitant but then he remembered just how skilled Hershel was. "What can we use as lube?" Hershel asked. Dale got up and looked in the kitchen. Fate was on their side, a small container of crisco was discovered. He Came back straddling Hershel once more. Hershel took the crisco and traced his finger through it. There was no question on how to proceed. Hershel was a smart man and instantly plunged his finger into Dale's sweet ass. Dale moaned but the gag served it's purpose. Quickly one became two fingers. Dale jolted as a finger hit his prostrate and stars flooded his vision. Hershel's assault continued unmercifully. Dale could do nothing but huff and then a third finger entered. It hurt, but it felt so good. Hershel kissed his forehead and Dale thought "Maybe this can be more."

"You think you can ride me?" Dale was old but between Hershel's foot and knees Dale knew it was the only option. He had to feel more on that sweet spot. Hershel lubed his cock and gently lifted Dale's hips. He lined up and slowly sunk in.  
What was pain quickly turned to need. Dale rode his cock rodeo style. This was an Kentucky Derby and Dale was going to win the gold! Hershel started to grip Dale's cock tightly and unapologetically rubbed up and down. Dale thought briefly "Thank goodness for this handkerchief." As Dale continued to buck down Hershel thrusted up. Dale shook to his very core as Hershel gave one last brutal tug and Dale came the hardest in his life. Hershel didn't stop his assault on that prostate. Dale's ass was as tight as an unloosened pickle jar. It felt just right! As Hershel started to cum he maintained his brutal pace. Dale shook and cried out a muffled shout as his overstimulated nub was abused.

Dale and Hershel laid together just panting. Hershel had caressed Dale's cheeks as he ungagged him. He was happy to breathe again as he was no spring chicken. Dale sighed and let Hershel kiss his forehead once more. Dale discovered this man was equal parts charming, gentle, and assertive. Dale smiled as he thought "maybe this can be something good." Hershel smirked as he thought "he's such a good boy, maybe I can make him mine tomorrow night again."

**Author's Note:**

> This was fun even though it was longer and more work than intended. Please suggest an odd pairing for some nice crack if desired.


End file.
